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The Secret to Happiness

Location: Blogs David Sunfellow Words of Wisdom
Posted by: David Sunfellow	1/22/2007 12:00 AM
EXCERPT: To scientists, he is the world's happiest man. His level of mind control is astonishing and the upbeat impulses in his brain are off the scale. Now Matthieu Ricard, 60, a French academic-turned-Buddhist monk, is to share his secrets to make the world a happier place. The trick, he reckons, is to put some effort into it. In essence, happiness is a "skill" to be learned... Mr Ricard, who is the French interpreter for Tibet's spiritual leader, the Dalai Lama, took part in trials to show that brain training in the form of meditation can cause an overwhelming change in levels of happiness. MRI scans showed that he and other long-term meditators -- who had completed more than 10,000 hours each -- experienced a huge level of "positive emotions" in the left pre-frontal cortex of the brain, which is associated with happiness. The right-hand side, which handles negative thoughts, is suppressed. Further studies have shown that even novices who have done only a little meditation have increased levels of happiness. But Mr Ricard's abilities were head and shoulders above the others involved in the trials. "The mind is malleable," Mr Ricard told The Independent on Sunday yesterday. "Our life can be greatly transformed by even a minimal change in how we manage our thoughts and perceive and interpret the world. Happiness is a skill. It requires effort and time." Mr Ricard was brought up among Paris's intellectual elite in the 1960s, but after working for a PhD in biochemsitry he abandoned his distinguished academic career to study Tibetan Buddhism in the Himalayas. A book of philosophical conversations he conducted with his father Jean-François Revel, The Monk and the Philosopher, became an unlikely publishing phenomenon when it came out in France in the late 1990s. Mr Ricard is to publish his book Happiness for the first time in the UK next month. ...... Source: THE HAPPIEST MAN IN THE WORLD? By Anthony Barnes The Independent January 21, 2007 ............. EXCERPT: THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS If affluence and materialism are not major ingredients for the good life, research indicates those that are: - Close, supportive relationships. We humans have what today's social psychologists call a deep "need to belong." Those supported by intimate friendships or a committed marriage are much likelier to declare themselves "very happy." - Faith communities. Connection, meaning, and deep hope are often nourished in congregations. In National Opinion Research Center surveys of 42,000 Americans since 1972, 26 percent of those rarely or never attending religious services declared themselves very happy, as did 47 percent of those attending multiple times weekly. - Positive traits. Optimism, self-esteem, and perceived control over one's life are among the traits that mark happy experiences and happy lives. Happy people typically report feeling an "internal locus of control" -- they feel empowered. When deprived of control over one's life -- an experience studied in prisoners, nursing home patients, and people living under totalitarian regimes -- people suffer lower morale and worse health. Severe poverty demoralizes when it erodes people's sense of control over their life circumstances. - Flow. Work and leisure experiences that engage one's skills also enable the good life. Between the anxiety of being overwhelmed and stressed, and the apathy of being underwhelmed and bored, lies a zone in which people experience flow -- an optimal state in which, absorbed in an activity, they lose consciousness of self and time. Flow theorist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi found people reporting their greatest enjoyment not when mindlessly passive, but when unself-consciously absorbed in a mindful challenge. Most people are happier gardening than power-boating, talking to friends than watching TV. Low consumption recreations prove satisfying. Sustainable joy All this is good news. Those things that make for the genuinely good life -- close relationships, a hope-filled faith, positive traits, engaging activity -- are enduringly sustainable. As Jigme Singye Wangchuk, King of Bhutan, observes, "Gross national happiness is more important than gross national product." ... Source: THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS By David Myers Yes! Magazine Summer 2004 Issue ............ EXCERPT: THE 10 STEPS TO HAPPINESS: - Plant something and nurture it - Count your blessings - at least five - at the end of each day - Take time to talk - have an hour-long conversation with a loved one each week - Phone a friend whom you have not spoken to for a while and arrange to meet up - Give yourself a treat every day and take the time to really enjoy it - Have a good laugh at least once a day - Get physical - exercise for half an hour three times a week - Smile at and/or say hello to a stranger at least once each day - Cut your TV viewing by half - Spread some kindness - do a good turn for someone every day ... Source: PATH TO TRUE HAPPINESS 'REVEALED' BBC News November 15, 2005 ............ RESEARCHERS SEEK ROUTES TO HAPPIER LIFE By Malcolm Ritter Associated Press November 26, 2006 NEW YORK - As a motivational speaker and executive coach, Caroline Adams Miller knows a few things about using mental exercises to achieve goals. But last year, one exercise she was asked to try took her by surprise. Every night, she was to think of three good things that happened that day and analyze why they occurred. That was supposed to increase her overall happiness. "I thought it was too simple to be effective," said Miller, 44, of Bethesda. Md. "I went to Harvard. I'm used to things being complicated." Miller was assigned the task as homework in a master's degree program. But as a chronic worrier, she knew she could use the kind of boost the exercise was supposed to deliver. She got it. "The quality of my dreams has changed, I never have trouble falling asleep and I do feel happier," she said. Results may vary, as they say in the weight-loss ads. But that exercise is one of several that have shown preliminary promise in recent research into how people can make themselves happier -- not just for a day or two, but long-term. It's part of a larger body of work that challenges a long-standing skepticism about whether that's even possible. There's no shortage of advice in how to become a happier person, as a visit to any bookstore will demonstrate. In fact, Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania and colleagues have collected more than 100 specific recommendations, ranging from those of the Buddha through the self-improvement industry of the 1990s. The problem is, most of the books on store shelves aren't backed up by rigorous research, says Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist at the University of California, Riverside, who's conducting such studies now. (She's also writing her own book). In fact, she says, there has been very little research in how people become happier. Why? The big reason, she said, is that many researchers have considered that quest to be futile. For decades, a widely accepted view has been that people are stuck with a basic setting on their happiness thermostat. It says the effects of good or bad life events like marriage, a raise, divorce, or disability will simply fade with time. We adapt to them just like we stop noticing a bad odor from behind the living room couch after a while, this theory says. So this adaptation would seem to doom any deliberate attempt to raise a person's basic happiness setting. As two researchers put it in 1996, "It may be that trying to be happier is as futile as trying to be taller." But recent long-term studies have revealed that the happiness thermostat is more malleable than the popular theory maintained, at least in its extreme form. "Set-point is not destiny," says psychologist Ed Diener of the University of Illinois. One new study showing change in happiness levels followed thousands of Germans for 17 years. It found that about a quarter changed significantly over that time in their basic level of satisfaction with life. (That's a popular happiness measure; some studies sample how one feels through the day instead.) Nearly a tenth of the German participants changed by three points or more on a 10-point scale. Other studies show an effect of specific life events, though of course the results are averages and can't predict what will happen to particular individuals. Results show long-lasting shadows associated with events like serious disability, divorce, widowhood, and getting laid off. The boost from getting married, on the other hand, seems to dissipate after about two years, says psychologist Richard E. Lucas of Michigan State University. What about the joys of having children? Parents recall those years with fondness, but studies show childrearing takes a toll on marital satisfaction, Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert notes in his recent book, "Stumbling on Happiness." Parents gain in satisfaction as their kids leave home, he said. "Despite what we read in the popular press," he writes, "the only known symptom of 'empty nest syndrome' is increased smiling." Gilbert says people are awful at predicting what will make them happy. Yet, Lucas says, "most people are happy most of the time." That is, in a group of people who have reasonably good health and income, most will probably rate a 7.5 or so on a happiness scale of zero to 10, he says. Still, many people want to be happier. What can they do? That's where research by Lyubomirsky, Seligman and others comes in. The think-of-three-good-things exercise that Miller, the motivational speaker, found so simplistic at first is among those being tested by Seligman's group at the University of Pennsylvania. People keep doing it on their own because it's immediately rewarding, said Seligman colleague Acacia Parks. It makes people focus more on good things that happen, which might otherwise be forgotten because of daily disappointments, she said. Miller said the exercise made her notice more good things in her day, and that now she routinely lists 10 or 20 of them rather than just three. A second approach that has shown promise in Seligman's group has people discover their personal strengths through a specialized questionnaire and choose the five most prominent ones. Then, every day for a week, they are to apply one or more of their strengths in a new way. Strengths include things like the ability to find humor or summon enthusiasm, appreciation of beauty, curiosity and love of learning. The idea of the exercise is that using one's major "signature" strengths may be a good way to get engaged in satisfying activities. These two exercises were among five tested on more than 500 people who'd visited a Web site called "Authentic Happiness." Seligman and colleagues reported last year that the two exercises increased happiness and reduced depressive symptoms for the six months that researchers tracked the participants. The effect was greater for people who kept doing the exercises frequently. A followup study has recently begun. Another approach under study now is having people work on savoring the pleasing things in their lives like a warm shower or a good breakfast, Parks said. Yet another promising approach is having people write down what they want to be remembered for, to help them bring their daily activities in line with what's really important to them, she said. Lyubomirsky, meanwhile, is testing some other simple strategies. "This is not rocket science," she said. For example, in one experiment, participants were asked to regularly practice random acts of kindness, things like holding a door open for a stranger or doing a roommate's dishes, for 10 weeks. The idea was to improve a person's self-image and promote good interactions with other people. Participants who performed a variety of acts, rather than repeating the same ones, showed an increase in happiness even a month after the experiment was concluded. Those who kept on doing the acts on their own did better than those who didn't. Other approaches she has found some preliminary promise for include thinking about the happiest day in your life over and over again, without analyzing it, and writing about how you'll be 10 years from now, assuming everything goes just right. Some strategies appear to work better for some people than others, so it's important to get the right fit, she said. But it'll take more work to see just how long the happiness boost from all these interventions actually lasts, with studies tracking people for many months or years, Lyubomirsky said. Any long-term effect will probably depend on people continuing to work at it, just as folks who move to southern California can lose their appreciation of the ocean and weather unless they pursue activities that highlight those natural benefits, she said. In fact, Diener says, happiness probably is really about work and striving. "Happiness is the process, not the place," he said via e-mail. "So many of us think that when we get everything just right, and obtain certain goals and circumstances, everything will be in place and we will be happy.... But once we get everything in place, we still need new goals and activities. The Princess could not just stop when she got the Prince."

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Re: The Secret to Happiness	By Bonnie Willow on 12/5/2006 6:39 AM
This kind of research is so important! I'd love for people to learn these basics, rather than thinking immediately of drugs when they realize they are unhappy.

Re: The Secret to Happiness

By Marie on 12/31/2006 2:11 AM

YES !!!! Music is my therapy ! And other alternatives such as massage and walkiing and yoga, poetry, trustworthy friends , spiritual study/relection/meditation ! Drugs have a longer list of side effects than they do benefits !!!! People are being re-educated about grieving but slowly so-o-o-o-o-oo there are still MANY who think that grieving should end within a certain amount of time. Richard Groves has a new book on amazon.com ~~~~ the American Book of Dying; Healing Spiritual Pain ~~~~he resides in Oregon and I met him in San Diego at their beautiful hospice when our harp therapy group had some training there. Drugs can mask emotions ~~~~~~WHY are people so afraid of God-given emotions ???? ! Oooooh-h-h-h-hh-h-h I could go on...........people can be unhappy and happy at the same time actually.............

Re: The Secret to Happiness

By packwidget on 3/4/2007 4:02 AM

Marie, I agree. People can be happy and unhappy at the same time. My mother is dying. She's 88 and has a number of severe physical problems. She ready to go, and I'm a peace with it. Her situation has caused a number of family and estate problems, causing me great stress and grief, exacerbated by menopausal lack of sleep. But as I do the things I need to do for Mom, as I resolve past issues, as I do yoga, write my stories (I'm a novelist) paint, exercise etc., I can produce within myself feelings of peace and happiness. Yes, when Mom is gone I will cry. Yes, there will probably be more difficulties with the family relative to the estate, (I'm the executor) but at the same time I am entering a new period of my life, a time of soaring freedom. I even had a dream about it. And when I finish the painting I'm currently working on, I will paint that dream.

I truly like the idea of thinking of 3 good things that happen in a day. That coupled with deep breathing will help keep me sane as the days ahead bring what must happen with Mom.

Re: The Secret to Happiness

By Sam on 4/12/2007 12:53 AM

The Secret to hapiness is quite simpler for myself, to put it plain "the secret is to stop seeking it out" If we can realize ultimately we already are happy and contain all the elements of joy already within us then we no longer need external circumstance to enable us to realize a state of temporary fufillment or hapiness. To agree with all of you I must, for we need a daily practice to train ourselves to this realization, whatever it may be. If not it can only manifest temporarily as well.

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